He entered the class. It was in an English language school. He wore a haute couture dark navy suit with matching shiny leather shoes. His eau de toilet, a combination of vanilla and cinnamon wood filled my nostrils. His hair neatly arranged in the style of prince charming in Cinderella and Snow White. His gaze cut right through me. He not only looked like the ideal man, he behaved like one. His gentleness and grace in the way he held himself took me to the world of fairytales, when the prince’s kiss brings the dead young women into life. He looked at me and for a moment my soul left my body.
Oh, my god… so handsome...what a voice! What a style ! What height!
After hanging his coat behind the chair, he turned to me with a soft smile and asked my name and welcomed me as a guest of the class. There I was not even wearing a lip glass or a nice scarf. I was in Jeans and wore a black coat below the knee. I was tired and the thought of having an evening class at the university at the end of the day was exhausting. Yet, at that moment I cursed myself for not wearing at least a lipstick and something other than a black ugly scarf. I was not supposed to be in this class. Meeting him was a coincidence. I had ended up auditing because I was accompanying my high school classmate Maryam. We had not seen each other for years and she had asked me to join her. This way we could spend more time together. In retrospect, it was a bad idea. I wish we had ended our meeting without me having to join her for her English class. Maryam had insisted that I should come and see her wonderful English teacher.
As soon as I laid my eyes on him the rush of dopamine released in my body. As he kept asking questions from the class, kept looking at me, I came up with all the answers before he had finished his questions.
Oh my God he smiles, he likes me.
“How old are you?”
“ What's your major?”
“ Which university do you study at?”
He asked. I responded. I was no longer tired. I was ready to dance until tomorrow.
***
ترجمه بیش از حد طولانی است و ذخیره نمیشود
Two months later;
“Will you marry me?”
He proposed on a night out when we were about to leave the restaurant and take the elevator. He stood two steps below me, and took my left hand in his.
I did not have to respond. He knew the answer and before I could speak, he kissed my hand. It burnt me inside out. All I could see was his strong arms, and the veins on his hands, and his chest showing from his unbuttoned shirt.
He bought me a rose that night. I preserved it carefully inside a book. This will last forever. I was his and he was mine forever. Fairtales were true. I had just found the prince charming and was about to enter the palace and become the queen. The magic had happened right here not in Holywood but in Tehran. In my own city. I had entered the world I could only dream of.
***
“I like blond hair.”
“Do you want me to bleach my hair?”
It was not even a question. If he likes me with blonde hair I would bleach my lush long brown hair. I went blonde with my waist-length hair. Everytime I looked at myself in the mirror I saw someone else. I was not me anymore. I kept asking myself, who is this woman!
Nima was excited at first. His enthusiasm did not last long. A few weeks passed and his passion for blond hair veined. Soon he did not care what color my hair was. I was becoming invisible. When he did not care anymore, I decided to cut my bleached dried hair which had turned into yellow straw.I cut my bleach burnt hair and no more being a blond.
A few more weeks passed. He did not talk more about marriage. I did not ask. One day when we were shopping he stood in front of a window.
“You know I wish you could wear this.”
He pointed to an over size model. What? He wants me to be oversized? I did not dare to say much, we came to my house. He was sitting on the couch in front of me, took an apple from the table, took a bite and said:
“ Honey, maybe you are very attractive to men who like thin and curvy women. But I like oversized women. I want your weight to go up to 80 kilos.”
That meant I was to gain twenty-five extra kilos. No one including myself thought of me as thin. I thought of myself as well proportioned and so did others. I did not respond to him. How could I become 20 kilos more? It is unhealthy, impossible and outright ugly. I could try, I guess.
From that point every time I was out and about I looked for women who were to his taste. If I saw one on the street, I would follow her, as though by some magic I would look like her. I started to see oversize women more than ever and worse I saw them next to him. I saw him with one of them and not with me.
***
Today when I think back, I can see I was never going to be his ideal woman, his choice, his favorite. Like the rose he gave me, I was only good for a day or two. We parted. I became a Cinderella, whose other shoe did not fit. I now understand that BBD Bobby Dee Bo who turned a pumpkin into a royal carriage and made Cinderella's torn shirt into a royal puffy dress, remains temporary and with the sound of ding ding at 12 o'clock after midnight again It returns to normal for good.
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